.webp)
Prosper Health's Autism Resource Center
Featured Article
Social Cues and Autism: Why the "Missed Signals" Narrative Gets It Wrong
Consider this: a coworker asks you to complete a task, “whenever you get the chance,” and you take it at face value. Two days later, you find out the request was urgent, and your coworker assumed their tone made that obvious. Or another example: you're mid-conversation with a friend, and something in their face shifts. You notice it, and you're also tracking their tone, their words, and your own response, all at once. By the time it's processed, the moment to say something has passed.
If either scene felt familiar, you’ve probably been told that you missed something obvious. Maybe you’ve been called hard to read, rude, oblivious, cold, or “bad at people.” But inside, you know that’s not really what happened.
These messages put the entire problem on one person in a conversation between two people. This article looks at autism and social cues, including why social cues can be harder to read for some autistic adults, why misunderstanding is often mutual, and what can help in situations where it matters most.
Misophonia and Autism: Why Certain Sounds Feel Unbearable, and What to Do About It
Do certain everyday sounds — like slurping, tapping, or chewing — send you into a whirlwind of distress or discomfort? Perhaps it’s not just emotional, but also physical, and you can’t shove down the reactions no matter how hard you try. If this feels relatable, you might have a common condition called misophonia.
Research suggests a possible link between misophonia and autism. Autistic individuals are more likely to have sensory sensitivities, after all. In any case, misophonia is “a nervous system response and not a cognizant decision,” says Jacqueline Shinall, Psy.D., a psychologist at neurodivergent-affirming telehealth provider Prosper Health.
Delane, a 27-year-old autistic woman, experiences misophonia due to “human sounds” like eating. “It just feels like someone constantly poking at the same spot, to the point of overstimulation and irritation,” she says. “It takes a lot of self-control to not lash out.”
Let’s take a closer look at what misophonia is, what research shows and doesn’t show about its connection to autism, and how to manage it. Whether you're wondering whether misophonia may be a sign of autism, are autistic and want to understand misophonia, or are simply looking for relief, there's no wrong reason to be here.
The Fear of Being Perceived in Autistic Adults
Let’s say you’re about to go to lunch with a colleague, but you just need to make a few last tweaks on a task.
Your colleague is happy to wait for you and remains quiet while you finish up, but it doesn’t matter. You still feel like you’re being watched. Suddenly, your anxiety skyrockets, and completing your work task now feels impossible with your coworker standing idly by.
Many call this the fear of being perceived — and it’s become a viral shorthand for a much broader feeling — but for autistic and ADHD adults, there’s usually something more concrete that’s happening behind the scenes.
Autistic content creator Morgan Foley even made a video illustrating the fear of being perceived, in which she not only demonstrates how this feeling can present in several scenarios (work, socializing, chores, etc.), but also the thoughts going through her head in that moment.
After reading this article, you will be able to recognize this type of fear as a specific, explainable pattern connected to neurodivergence, understand why it hits differently depending on your neurotype, and identify at least one concrete step toward feeling safer while still being yourself.
Most importantly, this article will help you to answer the question, “Why do I hate being perceived?”
Black and White Thinking: What It Is and Why It Happens
“If I can’t do this project perfectly, I shouldn’t have this job, should I?”
“OMG, my friend canceled our coffee meetup. I knew she never really liked me.”
“My partner forgot I wanted to see The Odyssey this weekend. I think our relationship is in trouble.”
If any of these internal monologues sound familiar, it’s not because someone gained access to your innermost emotions: It’s because these thought patterns are more common than you may think, and they’re known as black-and-white thinking.
Before we delve into these patterns more deeply, know this: It’s okay if you’re unsure whether your black-and-white thinking is a problem, a trait, or both, even if you’ve been told that you tend to “overreact” or that you “can’t see nuance.” Examining this kind of dichotomous thinking doesn’t mean it’s a flaw to be fixed or even a symptom of a specific disorder.
These patterns are just one part of who you are, and you deserve to understand what exactly black-and-white thinking is, what’s driving these patterns, and if you should pursue support.
BPD vs Autism: Understanding the Differences and Similarities
Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and borderline personality disorder (BPD) differ primarily in their classification—autism is a neurodevelopmental condition, and BPD is a personality disorder. They also diverge in several traits, though they share a number of surface similarities such as different ways of relating to other people. Both diagnoses are commonly misunderstood, making it important to distinguish between them to ensure autistic individuals and people with BPD receive meaningfully tailored support. Autism and BPD seem to co-occur at somewhat higher rates than other groups—although more research is required to determine how commonly they overlap—and individuals with either diagnosis can also benefit greatly from understanding the traits of each diagnosis.
What Is Pathological Demand Avoidance? A Guide to PDA for Autistic Adults
Picture this: you come home from a long day at work, and become frozen by even the idea of cooking dinner, or cleaning up your home, or taking a shower. You know you have to be doing something, but even thinking about another task ratchets up your anxiety to the point you feel like you can’t function. If this sounds like something you’re dealing with, you aren’t alone: you might be experiencing demand avoidance.
Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) is a behavioral profile most often connected to autism, where demands trigger an intense need to resist or avoid. This can happen for different reasons: sometimes demands become genuinely overwhelming (like eating, sleeping, showering, or even turning off the lights), leading to freezing up or distress. But demands can trigger avoidance even when they're not overwhelming because they threaten autonomy or control.
While PDA isn't a formal diagnosis, it's recognized as part of a constellation of behaviors often associated with autism or other neurodevelopmental profiles like ADHD.
Other more affirming names for PDA have been suggested, such as Persistent Drive for Autonomy, Extreme Demand Avoidance (EDA), and Rational Demand Avoidance (RDA). However, for the purposes of this article, it will be referred to as Pathological Demand Avoidance, as this is the most common term in the US.
Read on to learn what PDA is, what it feels like, and why it’s often misunderstood.
Creating Inclusive Work Environments: Autism in The Workplace
Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects how individuals perceive, interact with and respond to the world around them. It manifests uniquely in every person. For many autistic adults, autism impacts communication, social interaction, sensory experiences and thinking patterns. These traits can shape how autistic individuals engage in the workplace, presenting both challenges and exceptional strengths.
In professional settings, autistic individuals may face barriers such as difficulties with navigating unspoken workplace norms, sensory sensitivities or challenges with executive functioning tasks like time management and prioritization. However, these same individuals often bring remarkable skills and fresh perspectives to their roles. Common strengths include attention to detail, creative problem-solving, deep focus and innovative thinking. Recognizing and valuing these contributions is key to fostering a workplace where neurodiverse employees can thrive.
Discussing autism in the workplace is crucial not only for supporting autistic employees but also for cultivating a more inclusive work culture. Embracing neurodiversity helps organizations challenge traditional ways of thinking, opening the door to fresh approaches and solutions. Moreover, creating an environment where autistic employees feel seen, heard and accommodated benefits everyone—encouraging more collaboration, understanding and productivity.
Common misconceptions about autistic employees
Misunderstandings about autism often lead to stereotypes that unfairly marginalize autistic workers. Some common myths include:
“Autistic people lack empathy.”
This myth stems from a misunderstanding of how autistic individuals process and express empathy. While autistic employees may approach emotional dynamics differently, this doesn’t mean they lack empathy. Many autistic individuals express empathy differently than their neurotypical peers; for example, they may express their empathy through practical support, thoughtful actions, or a commitment to fairness and honesty. Employers who make space for diverse ways of connecting can uncover meaningful contributions to team morale and collaboration.
“Autism only means deficits.”
Autism is frequently discussed in terms of challenges, such as difficulties with social situations or sensory sensitivities. However, this narrow perspective overlooks the significant strengths that many autistic employees bring to the workplace. These strengths include exceptional problem-solving skills, creative thinking, attention to detail and the ability to hyperfocus on complex or repetitive tasks. By recognizing these attributes, employers can not only empower autistic employees but also gain a competitive edge by leveraging their unique talents.
“Autistic employees can’t handle teamwork.”
This misconception arises from the idea that autistic individuals struggle with collaboration. In reality, many autistic employees excel in structured, communicative team environments. Teams that establish clear expectations, assign defined roles and use straightforward communication strategies create a space where autistic workers can thrive. Moreover, their perspectives often enhance teamwork, offering new ideas or identifying potential issues others might overlook.
These myths highlight the importance of understanding autism beyond stereotypes. Employers who challenge these misconceptions and embrace neurodiversity can create workplaces that not only support autistic employees but also benefit from their unique contributions. By fostering a culture of inclusion and adaptability, businesses can tap into the strengths of all their employees, creating a richer and more innovative workforce.
Challenges in workplace relationships
Navigating workplace relationships can be particularly challenging for autistic adults due to differences in communication styles, social expectations and sensory sensitivities. These challenges can impact interactions with colleagues, supervisors and clients, often leading to misunderstandings or feelings of isolation.
Communication barriers
Many workplace environments rely heavily on unwritten social norms and nonverbal communication, which can be difficult for autistic individuals to interpret. For example, understanding office humor, gauging the tone of an email or recognizing when a coworker wants to end a conversation can pose challenges. Autistic employees may be perceived as overly direct or aloof, which can lead to misconceptions about their intentions or professionalism. Autistic individuals can also be misinterpreted as rude in the workplace because they don’t go out of their way to make small talk.
Difficulty making connections
Socializing with colleagues during breaks or after-work events can feel unnatural or exhausting for many autistic adults, especially those who experience social anxiety or find group dynamics overwhelming. Struggles with small talk or team-building activities may make it harder to form connections, potentially leading to feelings of exclusion or misunderstanding.
Navigating hierarchies
Interacting with supervisors or managers adds complexity, particularly in workplaces with unspoken rules about authority and decision-making. Autistic employees may have difficulty identifying implicit expectations or managing hierarchical dynamics. For example, they might not know when to advocate for themselves versus when to seek guidance, which can affect performance reviews and opportunities for advancement.
Sensory and emotional regulation
Noisy offices, strong lighting or tense workplace conflicts can heighten sensory overwhelm and emotional stress, making it harder for autistic individuals to focus and engage productively. These stressors can exacerbate challenges in maintaining healthy workplace interactions.
How to Deal with Autism Anger in Adults: Effective Strategies and Techniques
Everyone experiences anger from time to time. For autistic individuals, anger can be more complex than for their neurotypical peers. Autism anger is often misunderstood or pathologized, which can lead to increased frustration for both the autistic person and those around them. Feeling misunderstood or judged makes anger management even more difficult than it already is.
To ease the added difficulties around autistic anger, it’s important to understand its causes, employ effective coping strategies and improve communication skills. Autistic individuals and their support networks can work together to build a toolkit for anger management.
Autism and Empathy: What the Research (and Autistic People) Actually Say
We often make assumptions about others’ internal states based on their external behaviors. For example, if it seems like you’re shivering, one might guess that you’re cold. The assumption might be correct much of the time, but these assumptions are not always accurate. It’s also possible that you could be shivering but not cold, or cold but not shivering.
Likewise, if you’re autistic, you may find your behaviors misunderstood because you communicate differently from what some people expect. People might misperceive your feelings and intentions. This is common for autistic people, and that’s part of why there are harmful misconceptions about autism and empathy — specifically, that autistic people have none.
The question “Do people with autism have empathy?” prevails in blog posts and articles. The reality is that autistic people do have empathy, and in fact, many have heightened empathy. This is true even if its expression presents differently, says Anna Kroncke, PhD, a licensed psychologist with Prosper Health.
The autism lack of empathy myth causes a lot of confusion, especially for neurodivergent people who aren’t diagnosed in childhood. You may hear for years that you’re “cold” or “insensitive,” even when you have the best of intentions, and have no idea why. Or, the fact you have empathy may lead you to doubt the possibility you’re autistic to begin with.
In this article, we'll discuss what research shows about autism spectrum disorder, empathy, how to recognize it in your own life, and how having empathy doesn't rule out the possibility of being autistic.
Navigating Autism and Grief: Understanding and Supporting Unique Emotional Journeys
Grief is an intense and inevitable facet of life. Though the process is distressing for everyone, neurotypical people (people without autism) and autistic individuals will likely experience grief differently. Adults with autism spectrum disorder often have delayed and unexpected reactions to grief. Because of this, it is important for loved ones to recognize the signs of autistic grief and the unique support required for autistic adults during the grieving process.
We couldn’t find what you’re looking for. Try again with more general keywords, or check out our top reads.
