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Unmasking: What It Means for Autistic Adults and How to Do It Safely
For autistic people, masking—presenting yourself in a way, either consciously or unconsciously, to fit in better in a neurotypical world—can be both necessary and exhausting. That’s where the concept of “unmasking” comes in.
Unmasking is the process of making space for your autistic or neurodivergent traits to shine through in your day-to-day life. It's about working toward honoring your unique brain and what it needs, slowly letting go of the pressure to appear neurotypical.
“Unmasking, in the simplest terms, is about letting your nervous system participate in your life instead of fighting it all day,” says Stephanie Steele-Wren, PsyD, a licensed psychologist specializing in adult autism. “It isn’t about turning into a different person or suddenly being ‘your real self.’ Unmasking is the gradual decision to stop overriding your nervous system to appear ‘acceptable.’”
But it’s important to note that autistic masking exists for a reason, and unmasking is not mandatory. Like most things related to autism, it’s not black and white. That’s why we’re here to break down what you need to know about unmasking, why it can be beneficial (when done safely), what it looks like in practice, and what supports can help.
Who Can Diagnose Autism in Adults? A Clear, Supportive Guide
Like many other people diagnosed with autism as an adult, Christal was first misdiagnosed with anxiety and depression as a child. “Although I feel anxious, it’s more of a neurodivergent overwhelm, and although some symptoms are similar to depression, I often cycle through neurodivergent burnout,” she explains.
As an adult, Christal became a clinical psychologist who focuses on adult autism evaluation, which led her to recognize the signs of adult autism in herself. “I was very cautious about who and where I went for an assessment because, being in the field, I know that it is a specialized training and many adults are incorrectly diagnosed,” she says. She chose a clinical psychologist to conduct her assessment, based on a recommendation from a trusted colleague and was officially diagnosed with autism earlier this year, at age 30.
So, with so many clinicians getting it wrong, who is best qualified to diagnose autism in adults?
According to Kelly Whaling, PhD, licensed clinical psychologist and research lead at Prosper Health: Clinical, counseling, school, or clinical neuropsychologists with PhD and PsyD degrees are the best choice for autism diagnosis because psychological assessment is the core of their training.
“They spend years learning case conceptualization, how to use and interpret assessment tools properly, differential diagnosis, integrating multiple data sources, and more unique skills,” Whaling explains. “Even with autism-specific training, you need those foundational assessment skills.”
And that’s just the beginning. To help you choose a clinician that’s right for you, here’s a clear, neurodivergent-affirming guide to which providers are qualified, what qualifications matter, how to vet a clinician, and how to navigate the diagnostic process.
Why Many Adults Receive a Late Autism Diagnosis, And What to Do Next
Getting diagnosed with autism later in life, whether it’s in your 20s or 40s or even your 60s, can be a total game-changer. It can impact your entire sense of identity and how you interact with the world and others. It can also bring a profound feeling of relief while answering many questions, including: why did it take so long to figure this out?
For Tobey, 41, the turning point following his clinical diagnosis was a deep sense of self-acceptance. “Once I stopped burning energy on hiding and masking, I was able to redirect that effort into becoming my true self,” he says. “The difference has been huge.”
Tobey is far from the only adult who spent decades living with undiagnosed autism. In fact, the rate of autism in adults has been steadily increasing. Between 2011 and 2022, the autism diagnosis rate increased by 450% among 26-to 34-year-olds alone.
Today, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimates that one in 45 adults is autistic, and even more are likely undiagnosed. This rise is due to the improved understanding of the condition (and acknowledgement that autism is a true spectrum, rather than a collection of specific traits) thus leading to updated diagnostic criteria.
Whether you’re newly diagnosed yourself or are considering getting an adult autism evaluation, you probably have a lot of questions. In this article, we’ll provide a neurodivergent-affirming breakdown of why many adults receive a late autism diagnosis, and we’ll unpack both the challenges and benefits, as well as how to access support.
